Glimmers
The power of micro-moments ✨
I recently attended a lecture by Deb Dana, a trauma therapist who introduced the term glimmer in her work in Polyvagal Theory, and I loved everything about this. Polyvagal Theory explains how our nervous system is always responding to our environment, scanning for cues of safety or threat. It centers on the vagus nerve, a major nerve running from the brain down through the body, which connects to our stress and soothing responses, as well as our sense of connection.
A bit of the science: Polyvagal Theory highlights 3 main states which correspond with our parasympathetic (the rest and digest) and sympathetic (fight or flight) nervous systems.
Ventral Vagal State– When we feel safe and connected. The body is calm, present, and open.
Sympathetic or Mobilized State – The body feels activated. When feeling safe, this could be energetic, active, playful, motivated. When feeling unsafe, this could be anxiety, stress, or that “fight or flight” automatic response.
Dorsal or Immobilized Vagal State – The body feels low energy. When feeling safe, this could be feeling blissful, dreamy, or meditative. When feeling unsafe, this looks like shutting down, disengaging with people and our interests, and feeling depressed.
Under this framework, we can consider our biological stress responses with more compassion. When we feel anxious, overwhelmed, shut down, or reactive, it isn’t a personal flaw—it’s our nervous system trying to protect us. We each have patterns, or “maps,” shaped by our past experiences, and these patterns influence what feels threatening or safe. Trauma can influence these maps, teaching the nervous system to stay alert to possible danger, even long after the threat has passed, which creates perceived threats in seemingly safe situations.
When we learn to notice these shifts in our body—for example, the breath becoming more shallow, shoulders tensing up, the urge to withdraw—we begin to understand our triggers. This awareness gives us more choice: a mindful pause where we can gently ground ourselves, rather than getting pulled along by old stress loops and reacting from places of emotion.
On the opposite side of the same coin of triggers, is glimmers. These are micro-moments that spark ventral energy— they instill a sense of safety internally. Triggers are the cues of threat while glimmers are the cues of safety. They appear all the time in daily life; however, often go unnoticed, especially if we’re in a constant protective state.
Bringing awareness to glimmers can gently and significantly re-shape our systems. In these moments, the body’s ventral energy becomes active and this gives us a message of warmth, ease, peace or even magic. Some examples of glimmers:
A shared smile with a cashier
The scent that fills you when entering a bakery
Noticing sunlight entering your home
The first sip of coffee in the morning
Sensing a cool, gentle breeze
The warmth of a cozy blanket
A glimpse of photos of cherished memories
Holding your pet or child
Hearing laughter
A deep breath
Glimmers can bring us towards an anchored state; these micro-moments of goodness help release the build-up of cortisol and bring us towards calmness and safety. They can also help us feel seen, heard, understood and validated, promoting feelings of social connectiveness. Glimmers help us turn towards a ventral state, even if for a few seconds.
Those few seconds go a long way, in creating breaks in our nervous system’s regular programming and teaching the body how to regulate. These moments are not a way to discount or avoid suffering we could be experiencing; rather, they’re reminders that the nervous system can hold both dysregulation and regulation at the same time.
Glimmers are also a pathway to gratitude, which is not always easy to access or cultivate. Oftentimes, when we try to tap into gratitude, it becomes a mental exercise, rather than an embodied feeling. Glimmers connect us to that inner feeling. By bringing awareness to the small moments we feel safe, at ease, connected or joy, we can pair the micro-moment with appreciation.
The practice of noticing glimmers also helps us become more mindful. We end up stepping out of auto-pilot mode to catch these tiny moments and the result is being less in our minds and more connected to values. This inner reaction becomes a two-way experience: the more we pay attention to glimmers with awareness and gratitude, the more easily we notice them, and the more we notice them, the more we cultivate a deeper connection to values and presence.
As an example, this week has been full to the brim with work, taking a course, and tending to daily chores for me, which has brought on stress and anxiety. My mind is filled with the constant to-do list in between sessions, where I try to get as much as possible done. But I have this bouquet of flowers that was gifted to me for my birthday, that I’ve set up in my living room. Every time I pass it, I pause— admiring the colors, noticing which flowers are starting to bloom, even pausing to smell them (even though they don’t have too much of a scent). For those few seconds, my mind is still and I’m also reminded of the love from the person who gave them to me. The lingering glance at the bouquet sparks a moment of joy and that pause gets me out of my head. I also have a moment of being connected to my value of nature.
Getting to know our own personal glimmers is particularly useful when emotional distress is intense and we need some grounding. They often can come in predictable ways through predictable places; i.e., if you know that walking near the ocean or making fresh coffee will give you a glimmer. The awareness of what calms us makes life feel safer and gives us the resilience to cultivate ease, even in the most dysregulated times
Will noticing more glimmers change very difficult circumstances? Of course not. Tuning into glimmers isn’t about pretending everything is okay or bypassing real pain. It won’t make hard circumstances disappear.
But the practice can help your nervous system feel slightly more settled; that small shift can soften the intensity of distress just enough to breathe, to feel safe enough. That moment of pause might even give space to respond in a different way, one that aligns with your values rather than reacting from overwhelm🩶
Glimmer reflection prompts
How do you know you’ve encountered a glimmer? What do you feel in your body? (Perhaps warmth, a muscle un-clenching, the breath slowing down, the mind quieting, an inner smile, etc.)
What’s one tiny moment today that made your body soften, even a little?
Did you notice something beautiful or comforting without trying? What was it?
Who or what helped you feel even 2% more safe or grounded today?
What sound, scent, or texture brought a sense of familiarity or calm?
Was there a moment your shoulders dropped or your breath deepened? What was happening in that moment?
What softened you today instead of stimulating or exciting you?
What was a moment of quiet connection—with yourself, another person, or the world?
What small moment of care did you offer to yourself or someone else today?
What did you almost overlook today that felt good?
Cultivating gratitude through glimmers
Acknowledge a glimmer as it happens.
Practice mindful awareness.
Tune into your body and the senses.
Appreciate the expected glimmers and look for the unexpected ones.
Create a journal, list or photos of your glimmers.
Pair your glimmers to values.
