Shadow work through a modern therapy lens.
How to embrace the unwanted parts.
October is the season when darkness begins to linger. There are longer days, flickering candles, and rituals—Halloween, Diwali, Autumn Equinox, Día de los Muertos— that honor what lies beyond the light. In psychology, Carl Jung spoke of a similar threshold within us: the shadow: the parts of ourselves that we keep hidden away— the traits and impulses we don’t want to admit and reside in our “shadow”.
Jung describes the shadow as the first layer of our unconscious: the parts of ourselves we would rather not see, i.e., jealousy, anger, sadness, being “too much” or “not enough”. The concept of the shadow dates back before Jung, with ancient Eastern spiritual and shamanic roots. Across traditions and even within Jung’s philosophy, the shadow is not entirely negative and is actually seen as a gateway into deeper wisdom, healing and spiritual wholeness.
Jung’s shadow work is the process of bringing these unconscious, undesirable parts of ourselves into awareness, not to erase them, but to integrate them. While it can feel uncomfortable to face these “darker” aspects, by doing so, we create deep growth and healing, as the shadow also holds creative potential and wholeness. These are inherent parts of us that are present whether we admit it or not.
Some everyday examples of how the shadow can arise:
Judging others harshly. I.e., you feel irritated by someone’s arrogance or laziness—yet, deep down, you might fear being seen that way yourself or secretly wish you could be that unapologetically confident or relaxed.
Overreacting to criticism. A small comment may feel internally like a personal attack. The shadow here might hold old wounds around not feeling good enough or a fear of rejection.
People-pleasing or overachievement. The shadow might hide anger, resentment, or a deep need for validation—feelings we’ve learned to repress to be “good” or “successful.”
Procrastination or avoiding opportunities. What you label as laziness might mask a fear of failure or perfectionism—the shadow’s way of keeping you “safe” from discomfort.
Envy and comparison. Feeling jealous of someone’s success can reveal a disowned desire—something you long for but haven’t allowed yourself to claim or that you feel unworthy of.
“I’m not like them.” When you pride yourself on being different or better than others, the shadow may be protecting you from parts of yourself you’ve rejected.
Guilt after setting boundaries. The discomfort isn’t always about the boundary itself—it could be the shadow side of believing you must always please others in order to be loved.
Doing shadow work is becoming aware of these hidden traits so that we’re not blindly controlled by them through projection, unhealthy behaviors, and triggered reactiveness. Oftentimes, the shadow traits arise when we encounter someone who mirrors traits that we secretly dislike in ourselves. Some of Jung’s techniques of shadow work include analyzing dreams, active imagination and projection spotting, but we can also adapt this type of work to a more accessible and modern lens.
In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, which has a foundation on eastern approaches and mindfulness, there’s a key message: don’t fight your inner experiences (aka difficult thoughts and emotions), learn to make space for them. We can similarly do this with shadow work, through practicing acceptance towards these undesirable parts of ourselves, which is not excusing our difficult parts, but being willing to see them as they are so that we can take intentional action.
Gaining deeper mind-body awareness also brings to light where the shadow lives in the body— noticing where emotions such as shame, fear, resentment, unworthiness, etc. show up. Body scans, breathwork and movement can allow repressed energy and emotions to gently surface. It’s also tuning inward when we feel triggered to ask, where am I noticing this in the body?
The shadow parts often live behind unconscious beliefs about ourselves; i.e., “I’m not loveable, I must be perfect, I don’t matter”. These deep-rooted beliefs manifest in daily thoughts, automatic reactions, and behaviors. As you get into contact with these difficult inner parts, you can begin to inquire what core beliefs are present for you, and then begin to reframe the narratives and heal the core wounds.
A key to examining our shadow is self-compassion— cultivating a kind attitude as we look inward. Through a compassionate lens, we can examine the “darker” parts of our inner experiences with curiosity rather than shame or self-judgment, and this allows the space to do the work to create the changes we want to.
Shadow work isn’t about getting rid of the inner dark parts within; it’s about understanding and integrating them so we can live more authentically. 🩶
Holistic Practices to Integrate the Shadow
Notice triggers. Increase awareness of when you become upset or triggered through gentle inquiry: what emotions are present? Where do I notice them in the body? What am I thinking about myself in this situation/moment? When triggered by another person, identify if the person hold qualities that are actually ones that you also hold (and dislike).
Use meditation, breathwork and movement to allow blocked energy to move and stuck emotions to surface. Bringing the shadow into the light will allow you to fully see what’s a part of your inner world. Through practicing mindfulness regularly, we increase our inner gauge to recognize strong reactions as they are occurring.
Challenge the inner narratives. As core beliefs become more conscious, work to reframe the narratives into ones that are more neutral, evidence-based, and compassionate.
Practice acceptance of the parts of yourself that might feel “shameful” or dark. Acceptance is the willingness to see reality as it is, and by doing so (with the compassionate lens), you can decide what you want to shift and how. Remind yourself that all parts of you, even the shadow, have a function (usually a protective one) and hold wisdom around what’s important to you.
Identify values that are personally meaningful to you, so that you can create authentic shifts. I.e., if courage is a value, work to embody the sentiment in moments where an anxious part would usually take the spotlight. When noticing yourself get triggered, ask how do I want to respond in alignment with my values right now?
Start small. Working with our deep, “dark” parts is uncomfortable. The next time you notice yourself get triggered, simply pause and get curious, instead of pushing the emotion away. The shadow isn’t the enemy— it’s an invitation to become whole.
